“You need to believe in yourself and what you do. Be tenacious and genuine.”
– Christian Louboutin
Genuine. Authentic. Real.
I think about these words a lot. I continuously question myself if I believe what I believe or do I just do what I do. Sounds like a lack of faith and maybe it is. I can exude real confidence in ideas I believe in as ideas are often very meaningful to me and my life.
I love to think, discuss, brainstorm, pontificate, learn, grow, teach, coach and collaborate. So ideas hold a real tangible value for me. But often times, as I awake in the morning or make my drive home in the evening, I stop to question myself as to what my true beliefs might be and if the allure of the idea has me thinking I “think” that way.
You may wonder why so I’ll tell you.
One thing, if I had to identify that thing, that makes my blood boil or loses my respect is people who talk about doing something a certain way or following a certain path and then abandon all those things central to that in reality of what they do.
They “talk the talk” but are unwilling to “walk the walk”. The reason I question myself is that I believe in agility, the power of teams and the ideal that amazing things can happen through motivated, collaborative teams in which the economy of scale is end value and not time. This means something very special to me as I not only believe it, I have seen the power in it actually working.
However, being human, I am inherently fallible. My biases, my environment, my mood, history in general can all push me away from making decisions in alignment with these beliefs I hold. I realize that and always question what I know and what I am doing to ensure I am truly being genuine in my thoughts and my actions. And guess what, it’s a struggle. It’s a battle. You stay on the defense for this creepy crawly to come along and get you.
Just like the dieter who struggles to avoid Krispy Kreme donuts brought to the office, sometimes it takes will-power and the admittance of failure. But my realization of my ability to be wrong and my willingness to admit and learn when at fault keeps me going where I want to go at this point.
I am very fortunate presently to have one particular person that keep me honest that works in my group. They challenge me regularly about my thoughts and often make me examine things that might be uncomfortable to think about from a perspective of an observed flaw. They basically exercise the carte blanche that I extend to the people I work with to call me on my B.S.
But I truly respect and appreciate it, even if sometimes at the onset I may not be too as often happy, feel annoyed at the challenge or just clouded from the value I am receiving from those conversations. What they do for me though, more than anything, is they force me to evaluate the perception of another about me and probe more deeply into myself to see if my actions are genuine and in alignment to my beliefs and values. This often helps me examine why I might be out of sync to my beliefs or presenting a poor perception of my intentions or actions.
In the grand scheme, I am respect and appreciate this relationship that I have with this colleague. One thing it does is allow me to gauge myself on my skills to actually listen to this feedback without feeling the need to respond. I know that this is a skill that I need to continuously work on. If you have never done a “seatbelt meeting” (where you strap yourself in and just listen to the good, the bad or the ugly feedback without response or defense but simply allow you to hear someone else’s perception) with someone, give it a shot. Not as easy as it sounds to do.
So take a moment and think about yourself and your actions. Are you being genuine?